Next Chapter

I’ve been pondering a lot lately about what it really means to be retired now. I’m trying to not judge this period of time (early retirement at 53, now 55) and rather just sit with it for awhile to see what questions come up. My therapist will tell you my overachieving history is, in part, a response to past trauma. Overachieving saved me in more ways than one. The pay off was survival in various circumstances. It served me. But-and this was the radical part for me- it doesn’t have to be my constant state of being. So, in this next chapter, if I’m not overachieving, what does that look like for me?

So far, it looks like new friends b/c most of my past friendships were related to mothering or work. And I might have sold my business but those friends are still working and not really able to pick up the phone and gab in the middle of the day.

My new circle of friends surprises me. They are mostly over 70. I know them from the community pool where I am now committed to being in the water for water aerobics by 6:30AM, Monday through Friday. Yes, we are exercising but much like the fifth grade classroom I recall, it’s been noted here I do like to talk at times. Mostly and only, when not struggling (with no grace) to pop up out of the deep end for an aquatic jumping jack. My 70+ year old friends never judge.

These new unexpected friends have lured me into relationship with small gifts, party invitations, and opportunities to volunteer. After leaving my most recent statewide board position with an ambitious nonprofit, their effort to support individual teachers with a few school supplies feels local and intensely meaningful. Their passion impresses me. Their big dreams for what still could be inspires me. And so I’m learning a lot from new friends, all the while, hoping my old friends are doing well.

Otherwise, the pondering at this point in time continues . . .